Why I could never be homeless, BY: Amy

So it all began at 4:50 a.m on a cold Friday morning in the Salt Lake City Airport, tucked away in a dirty breakroom. I trudged into work, groggy, unhappy to be there, and brain function at only about 2 percent. Like I always do, walked to my locker ready to prepare myself further for the cold by adding a few more layers to my already layered body. Then something happened, my locker lock was GONE!!! My brain quickly jumped up to 4 percent, I opened the locker to find it empty, EMPTY!!! Brain kicks up 5 percent, what has happened to my shi***)(? Who took my shi**&"? I began to inquire with the few other brave folks who chose to work at the butt crack of dawn. My lock had been cut off with others, others who were no longer working there...... HMMM.... ..Have I been fired? Am I on Office Space? Am I being phased out?
I went about my duties quite cold dawning only one half of the layers I would've liked to have. My hands, head, and body froze against the cold wind, brain power down to 4 percent. Curse words against said training woman who theived my layers, how dare she try and phase me out?

Doesn't she know who I am?

Around 7:30 a.m when the uppers had finally joined us at work, I followed her (said theif) to her office to retrieve my things. My things were given back to me in a large plastic garbage bag. Really? This is what my things have been reduced to? A garbage bag. That's fine. I'll be going now, and I'm taking my garbage. ... . . . Things, with me.

I left head held high, massive garbage sack slung over my shoulder. I had to go through the massive crowds in the airport. Yes, carrying my garbage sack. AWESOME!!!!

I have no idea how I got so much stuff into one little locker. It was a lot of stuff, and not a lot of locker.

This experience has given me a new perspective on my life, yes thats right. I really could never drag my stuff around in garbage sacks. Not only because its degrading, and heavy, but because I have a lot of shi. . . .***>>> ! It would take several grocery carts worth of stuff for me to be homeless. I would be required to set up some sort of pulley device around my waist that connected all the carts together.


Just think during the day when I'd be wandering around looking for cans to change in for small change, it'd take several minutes for me and my carts to safely cross the street. People would be honking, and getting angry.
My back would be sore from the pulley, and I would probably be grouchy.
No one wants that.

S-U-N

So, I've been singing, "Mr sun, sun golden yellow sun in my head all day." Thank you Barney. With that said I've decided to take this opportunity to give a shout out to the sun, and tell him just how much I appreciate his presence in my life. For real, it makes me so happy to have him on my face. He allows me to take my child out for some much needed runnin' around. Sun is a dear friend of mine, and warms not only my bod but my soul.

Because of my dear friend the sun, I can actually get out and enjoy the fall; the trees, the cool air, the mass amount of leaves that have invaded the ground, with their colors red, yellow, orange, purple. Those crunchy leaves are everywhere.


I may go as far to say that if my dear friend the sun could stick around and continue his warming of my heart/spirit/face I wouldn't be mad. I may even get out more, swing my legs off a bridge and not even think about jumping, just swinging. (Although the colder the water, the less likely the jumping, but that's entirely beside the point.)Isn't it?


The point is if I could bottle up the sun and release him in full force daily between the hours of 9:30 and 12:30 I would. I'd release the hell out of him. I'd be all, "hey everyone here's our sun. Go play outside, go enjoy your lives, and this guy, my friend. The SUN." The rest of the day there would still be sun don't get me wrong,it'd just be especially sunny at those particular hours. Not sunburn sunny, but the kind of sun that makes you think of riding your bike barefoot down to the lake, feeling the wind in your hair, and the glorious, miraculous sun on your warm face.
So sun, here's your shout out, you're not only my boy, you're my man, SUN GUY, and I love you.

After much ado

So, I've written several posts that have gone unpublished in recent months, mostly I decided not to post them because they showed the bitter and ugly side of divorce. The side that stays inside of me most of the time, and occasionally gets shared out of frustration that its not yet over, and feels as if it never will be. Sometimes my life feels as if it will remain in a stagnant state waiting for some judge whom I do not know, and who doesn't know me, to sign a paper that says its done.

It's time to finally move on.
Just one signature, just one name, to put an end to one of my names.
One official's stamp to put an official end to another official's words.

So, what to do in the meantime, while the waiting period continues?

I ponder if I'm enough.
If I'm doing enough with my life.
I'm not traveling enough, (well not to new places).
Am I experiencing life to the fullest?
I don't actually have a job, just in name I guess, and to be honest, I don't hate the jobless life.
When I did have a job, it wasn't what I loved. I loved the people and the benefits, but it wasn't actually fulfilling. It wasn't something I could go home from feeling good about what I'd accomplished.

A few weeks ago I finished reading the most depressing book, "The hour I first believed," the title is deceiving. Its so depressing, with no relief in the end. It's not that I need happy books and good news all the time, but I'm wondering if maybe I sugar coat things in life a little too much. Ignore the things I don't want to deal with in order to keep from being depressed and down. Is this normal? Can other people actually face their problems head on, deal with them accordingly and move on with their lives? Not that I run from everything that's hard to deal with and not happy, but in general I like things nice. Not always easy, but nice.
Am I expecting too much here?

I got a bit of the past today, luckily I was very distanced from it, but it made me realize that my life is good. The path I've chosen is the one I should be on. My life could've been a lot worse. It was refreshing to realize that my decisions in the past have helped me appreciate my future a lot more. Maybe in the past I have run from hard things, but maybe if I hadn't run, I would be in a much worse place. Perhaps I would be dealing with things much harder and with people much harder to deal with.

I'm not saying I will or should always run.
Maybe I'm saying it's officially time to acknowledge my mistakes of the past have been learned from.
From here on out I will vow to not make those same mistakes again.

Maybe its okay to run from things that aren't worth staying for.
And every once in a while its okay for things to be hard.

Thank Goodness for cereal

How else would I have learned about the world wide web. Did everyone else know about this?
It was like eating the store name brand of raisin bran opened up a whole new world for me.
I learned that, and I quote, "there is no speed limit on the Internet highway." You mean to tell me I can go as fast as I want without getting caught for speeding.

Luckily this magnificent box helped me learn about emoticons, a way to express my emotions whilst not speaking one word.

AMAZING PEOPLE!!!! AMAZING!!

when did this happen?

When did I become a ma'am'? I was at the rodeo today, yes a rodeo. This is what my life is now that a certain someone has decided the child is my sole responsibility and mine alone. Why should I get to go to Vegas or New York? How silly of me to even hope really. So, at the rodeo a young cowgirl asked me if I was my uncle's sister? Now, my uncle is not THAT old, and he started having kids later in life, so he does have a nearly six year old. I have a nearly two, but does this really qualify me as his sister? Maybe I should track down this cowgirl, who couldn't have been more than nine, and ask her if she meant to say "much much younger sister?" my uncle's brother, (who is also my uncle obviously) is only a mere two years older than me.
But I find it happening more and more, this being grouped with the older crowd, I'm not even married (well soon, hopefully) DAMNITT!! Doesn't that count for something? Being called "ma'ma." Could I at least pass for 25? 24 maybe? I really want to go play the "guess my age" game with a random stranger who would be honest, yet kind. I don't think I look too old, maybe I need to start wearing more sunscreen, do a few chemical peels, maybe a face lift.

That's me on the left, I got the head scarf at an early bird special at Macy's...


Technically I'm still under TLC's "no miniskirts over 35" rule. WAY under.
Maybe just more sleep, will help. It can only get worse from here, I'm worried I'm aging before my time, I'm still in my prime people, right?