Monogamy.

So the whole concept of two people joining together as man and wife for as long as they both shall live, till' death do them part, for time and ALL ETERNITY!! Is this reality? Can this actually happen. Can two people who lead two separate lives actually join together in loving matrimony, and stay together for what they are promising to? It seems that everywhere I turn people are separating, going through a divorce, hating their spouse, or contemplating the what-ifs of single-dom.
I do realize there are people out their who have lived "happily" married for a number of years, but is this really the norm? do people really find someone who they can actually spend the rest of their lives with in wedded bliss, or is the world doomed to the ever-increasing divorce rate?

How do people actually make relationships work? I have yet to figure this out and feel I never will. How does a person put their spouses needs/wants first and not end up becoming resentful? I know there are countless books, seminars, classes dedicated to the subject of marriage and relationships, but I feel there is no magic ingredient, no special secret. I once thought that two people who dedicated themselves to one another, and to the marriage could do it, could actually make it through the 50 or so years they were both living together in wedded bliss, and maybe part of me still believes this, but as it often does my cynical side loves to take over.
Is marriage for everyone? Probably not. What's the best alternative? Living it up as if they never aged over thirty, going to bars, churches, coffee houses, in hopes of meeting their next relationship conquest. Going through partners like others go through sticks of gum, and spitting them out when the taste turns funny. After a string of sometimes fulfilling sometimes meaningless relations inevitably dying alone, a withered up old prune, some young nurse smacking them around in the nursing home is a person's fate.
I suppose there is another way, which seems to be America's way at present: multiple marriages, multiple divorces, never staying with one person for too long.
Research conducted from . . . somewhere has said that married people live longer, are healthier and happier, and are better with finances. So, marriage is the answer right?
If so, why do so many marriages end up in divorce? My theory is that there are no two people that were actually made for one another, no two people fit together just right. There is chemistry between people, passion, fire, love, longing, connections, however not every aspect of one's upbringing, personality, education, economic background, goals, ambitions, desires, hopes, dreams, ideals will fit with another's. There will be conflict, eruptions, days when one wants to leave the other. Weeks when one wonders why did I marry this person. No one will ever meet every expectation the other has going into the relationship. It takes commitment, work, communication, and of course desire to stay together.
By no means do I consider myself a relationship expert, I'm the opposite. However, I do believe that monogamy is possible for those who actually want to live it, and want to be in it. There are others who will never be content being with the same person for 50+ years or even 50+ weeks. In my opinion neither way is right or wrong, it's just a matter of what you are looking for. I ordered a book on line the other day called, "My Horizontal Life." I'm sure this will be a scandalous book, but I'm very interested to read about someone who at one point in their life clearly shunned monogamy. I personally am a one relationship at a time kind of woman, too much to keep track of otherwise.
On the other hand I still am clueless about how to be in an actual functioning long term relationship, maybe this will come with age, time, or a lot of therapy.