Why I could never be homeless, BY: Amy

So it all began at 4:50 a.m on a cold Friday morning in the Salt Lake City Airport, tucked away in a dirty breakroom. I trudged into work, groggy, unhappy to be there, and brain function at only about 2 percent. Like I always do, walked to my locker ready to prepare myself further for the cold by adding a few more layers to my already layered body. Then something happened, my locker lock was GONE!!! My brain quickly jumped up to 4 percent, I opened the locker to find it empty, EMPTY!!! Brain kicks up 5 percent, what has happened to my shi***)(? Who took my shi**&"? I began to inquire with the few other brave folks who chose to work at the butt crack of dawn. My lock had been cut off with others, others who were no longer working there...... HMMM.... ..Have I been fired? Am I on Office Space? Am I being phased out?
I went about my duties quite cold dawning only one half of the layers I would've liked to have. My hands, head, and body froze against the cold wind, brain power down to 4 percent. Curse words against said training woman who theived my layers, how dare she try and phase me out?

Doesn't she know who I am?

Around 7:30 a.m when the uppers had finally joined us at work, I followed her (said theif) to her office to retrieve my things. My things were given back to me in a large plastic garbage bag. Really? This is what my things have been reduced to? A garbage bag. That's fine. I'll be going now, and I'm taking my garbage. ... . . . Things, with me.

I left head held high, massive garbage sack slung over my shoulder. I had to go through the massive crowds in the airport. Yes, carrying my garbage sack. AWESOME!!!!

I have no idea how I got so much stuff into one little locker. It was a lot of stuff, and not a lot of locker.

This experience has given me a new perspective on my life, yes thats right. I really could never drag my stuff around in garbage sacks. Not only because its degrading, and heavy, but because I have a lot of shi. . . .***>>> ! It would take several grocery carts worth of stuff for me to be homeless. I would be required to set up some sort of pulley device around my waist that connected all the carts together.


Just think during the day when I'd be wandering around looking for cans to change in for small change, it'd take several minutes for me and my carts to safely cross the street. People would be honking, and getting angry.
My back would be sore from the pulley, and I would probably be grouchy.
No one wants that.