Is it better to live by the rules?

What is wrong with me? It seems I have this aversion to rules. I don't even think its on purpose, it just seems to happen. At work the past few months I have been going under hours, which at our work is a cardinal sin, one of the biggest don'ts. The thing is no one said anything for months, so I continued to go about my business of leaving as early as possible at night, and giving away as many shifts as I could. This worked well until a few weeks ago when I was called into the shift manager's office. I was told I had gone under hours 10 pay periods in a row, not good. I was also told I am allowed no more sick calls until August, and can't be late until then either. WHAT??? CRAP!!! At this point I was suspended for three days, which I pointed out would cause me to go under hours once more. They said I wouldn't be held accountable for these pay periods, I thought it was foolish because of the fact that their suspending me was causing me to involuntarily further my bad behavior. This did nothing to change their mind, and I got 3 days off.
Out of this whole suspension experience came yet another talk. I was forced to go talk with the main supervisor over my department, this in order to sign papers and come back to work. Well I've had run-ins with this man before. My aunt who works with him later told me he said, that I seemed cute and smart it just seemed like I wanted to fight him on everything. Do I need the conflict in my life? No. Do I care enough about this person to invest in fighting with him? No. Did he call me "bud" as I was leaving his office? Yes. Did I expect a playful punch in the shoulder to follow? Yes. It didn't.

Now, if it had been this one incident in my life that pointed to me being a non rule abiding gal I would probably change the behavior, laugh it off, go back to work and do better. However, this isn't just a recent problem I have encountered of unintentionally breaking rules, and having it backfire. Why can't I just obey the rules, and live contently like so many others seem to do?
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I got booted out of BYU for honor code violations, I had a string of boyfriends whom my family and friends all disapproved of, for reasons I refused to see. These boys ended up being bad for me in different ways and because of different things, but I refused to give them up just because those who cared about me told me to do so. It was something about me thinking I saw something in them no one else could, because they weren't in the relationship in reality it was the other way around. Silly me.

I got pregnant and I thought for once following the rules and getting married would actually go in my favor. How can one girl be wrong so many frustrating times? I ended up leaving to do it mostly on my own, (with help from those who were bound by blood). I want to raise my child in a world where he looks past the rules once in awhile to discover new things, places, and people that maybe are beyond the rules. I don't want him to become a felon, a druggie, or a trouble maker, but I do want him to look past what the world tells him he should do, or what he has to do. I want him to see the world from both sides, as a rule keeper when its safest and in his best interest to do so. On the other hand I want him to push the limits to reach goals, see the world differently, and find out what works for him. He pushes the rules on a daily basis, and it drives me nuts, because he's not always safe, and doesn't always stay right by my side. He explores, he pushes, and he learns by doing so. How can I always say no?

I guess the question I am throwing out to the universe, to myself, is what is better to follow the rules and conform to what "we're supposed to do" or to be your own person live the way you way to and say F you world, I'll do what I want. (Within reason of course). Its not that I want to break the rules, its just that I don't always like following them. How can I be a good mother, employee, citizen, and person without doing it in my own way all the time? I don't need things my way ALWAYS!! Right?

Happenings in Ovid. . .

Ovid, Idaho folks, Ovid Idaho . .. . .

Snowboarding pics, there were lots of wicked sick jumps . .



At one point Mike felt it was necessary to attack his younger bro, he did later apologize, and they were fine, boys are so funny like that. Get mad, get physical, get over it. What a way to live.

Looking out off the sledding hill, you can see part of my grandparents house, barn, and shop, and of course the lovely, but cold, snow covered mountains.

These are just a bunch of trees from one of my snowmobile rides, I was quite happy to see some Fall color had hung on, even in this less than forgiving climate


Sunset in Ovid. I can't get enough of this stuff. I actually was loving it up there, crazy Amy.

Night ride, it was amazing up on this mountain. If I hadn't gotten stuck so many times on this particular ride, I'd probably suggest night rides to all. Instead I'll say ride at your own risk.

Its a Wonderful Life

I take great pride in the fact that I'm not a movie crier, I don't get emotionally charged very easily, and stay pretty level headed. That's why this morning while going through random blogs I got a bit of a surprise. Whilst reading through some random blogs, I came across one about the state of the U.S's economic situation. The author talked about a man whom had to be at least 70 asking for a job at Trader Joe's, and in the process flexing his bicep to ensure the assistant store manager he was strong and capable. In this same post there was a 9 minute clip from the movie "It's a Wonderful Life," Its at the end where George decides he wants to live, after he realizes his wish is granted he rushes home to hug his wife and children. Numerous neighbors and friends come to pile money on the table, money that will help keep George from being taken off to jail. I just was crying as I watched this, (what me crying? What's happened to me?) My justification, how often do I actually take the time to appreciate my life, and all that I have in it? How often do I over look things I should recognize and appreciate? How many times has the world passed me by as I've been too busy focusing on the mundane-ity of life, work, feeding the child, and stress that feels as if its creeping in on me? I know other people are good at balancing stress, work, gratitude, love, kids, and other important matters, why can't I be?


I guess I do have to admit life is great, I live in a world where my child consumes much of my time, energy, and day, and it is wonderful. I couldn't ask for a child with more wonder, adventure, happiness, and love. I'm healthy, I have good people in my life, I've had some wonderful experiences growing up, traveling, meeting many people that have affected my life in positive ways. I look back on my life and I have made some horrible mistakes, but without them I wouldn't be where I am today. Which, mind you, isn't my ideal or my optimal, but it helps me to strive for a better life for me and my little boy.
This world is full of good; its full of good people, amazing places, calming sunrises, and colorful sunsets, oceans and beaches that make life seem better just by being there, music that can alter and enhance moods, breath taking art, great food, mind changing movies, eye opening books, rainy days that make you appreacite the sunny ones even more, it has over-looked beauty and everyday heroes. Its often hard to see these things because life gets in the way.
Thank you George for giving me a moment to stop myself, and the world around me and realize that life is beautiful.

The Sacred Day of Love

Since Valentines Day is my absolute favorite holiday, the most necessary, and not a huge waste of a holiday, I decided to write a list of do's and don't in honor of this ever special day....

THE DO'S

Do: Shave your head leaving only a patch of hair in the shape of a broken heart. Dye this chunk of hair black. Big or small heart it matters not. Use this as an outward expression of your broken black soul.

Do: Sit outside Hallmark with an old school ghetto blaster playing, "I'm Lonely" over and over again until the store manager asks you to leave or he'll have the proper authorities show you off the premises. As you go carry your ghetto blaster on your shoulder, song still playing. Make sure not to cover up the broken heart on your head.

Do: Ring people's doorbells then run into the middle of their front lawns where they're sure to see you, and scream "STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!" (The ghetto blaster is optional).

Do: Go out to a nice restaurant by yourself Valentine's night, stare at couples intently, if they shift uncomfortably, that's fine. If they throw food at you, fine. If they get a different table, fine, request to move with them. If they invite you to join them for dinner, great, say you don't want to intrude, take your drink and join them as you're saying this, show them your ghetto blaster at this point.

THE DONT'S

The thing is there, really aren't any don'ts about Valentine's Day, other than don't hate on couples for wanting to use this day to express their undying devotion for one another. So what if they choose to do so in public, for all to see? The smooching, hugging, codling, rubbing their noses together, gazing into one another's eyes, sharing the same un-naturally long strand of spaghetti, and meeting in the middle of their candlelit table for a marinara kiss. All you need is love right? So go forth lovers, love on!!!!

Things that amuse me.

So I was looking at a picture book my mom pulled out to show me how much my child looks like one of my brothers, (the truth is that in one picture he does, but I don't see any striking similarities in others.) I think he just looks like him. Anyway, this book was chalked full of pictures of me from childhood, and to be honest I was kind of nerdy. I know this comes as a shock, even to me as I say it. I just look at myself in these pictures and realize I'll probably always be this way. One step behind in fashion, never wanting to take any real risks. Always playing it safe, and maybe I come off as boring and plain, but it doesn't bother me. I look at my older sister and think she's always been cute, fashion-like (as much as we could afford anyway), her hair was always up with the styles, and I just am like this nerdy, loud, tall girl. I was never shy or smart. . . just nerdy. Which seems contradictory, but that was me. I should scan a pic in to prove my point. I'll see what I can come up with.


There are many moments in motherhood that are quite laughable, I was driving the other day in front of a car that didn't appreciate the fact that I was going the speed limit. Who chose to follow me so close, which I didn't appreciate. So I was like, dude back off, you're so annoying. Finally the car backed off and eventually turned and I was like "Thank you dip . . .. ," in my not so sweet voice, and my child in the back seat in his sweet little voice chimes in "Tha..nk ....you." I just started laughing.

The other day nannying, the two brothers I watch were fighting over something, my child comes over to where I was standing away from them, throws his hands in the air, shakes his head, and breathes a sigh of what seemed like "We just can't win with these two." At least someone understands how I feel.

So work is finally at a point that I feel happy about who I work with again,there was a while there that it was a little rough, with the anal folk parading about, taking their job way more seriously than my job or theirs required. I realize we need these type of people in the world, but do I really have to work with them? Please Jesus, no. Its hard to describe the funny things at work, because when I write them down, few will get them, and they may not seem funny, but to me these small funny moments make my job much better than if my moments at work were spent with Anal _____, or Captain ______, or even Skanky ______. Anyway you get the idea.

I'll leave it at this, in the past month or so the following has occurred:

--2 tiny bags of sun chips for 90 passengers, that should do.

--"Are you hitting on her?" "No that's my niece. Thanks."

--"I actually own my own business, and do really well, I'm quite well off, however I work here full time, for the flight benefits." Crazy random liar guy. Inner laughter, ME.

--I just played cards for four and a half hours straight, and they're paying me for it. Also me.

--"So let me get this straight you're not going to go to San Fransisco, because you don't have coffee? You're going to cancel the flight over this? Me
"The passengers need coffee, they will not want to go without it." Flight Attendant, with her head in the clouds.
"So you think passengers would be more angry about not having coffee, then about not going to San Fransisco?" Me laughing outwardly.

-- " I can't come to work next Friday, tan legs is going to yell at me for not staying to listen to his meeting" Me
"Just tell him you unexpectedly started your period, and had to leave, go into details." Kyra
"Brilliant." ME

--The great soda spill of 2009, this occurred one cold January night, when the unnamed spilled 80 cans of soda every which way, soda gushed and sprayed, and shouted at the aluminum cans which held it hostage for so long.
Me laughing uncontrollably outwardly. Since then many more spills have occurred, the culprit will remain unnamed, me still laughing outwardly.

And now for the list, (of things that I find humorous and or amusing, or confusing):
-Cheesy wedding songs, for so many different reasons.
-The Office, so many one-liners, sometimes I zone out and think of these lines in my head, and find myself with one of those glazed over smiles and life is good again. Thank you Office.
-The thought of telling 4 year olds what I really think, but not actually doing it.
-Fighting fights you'll never win.
-The name Bernard
-Books, namely those that I read and wonder how on earth these people found someone to publish such bullshit
-Girls who try too hard.
-The line in the movie "Just Friends" where she yells across the bar, "No, I'M BUSY!! STUPID DICK!!!!"


-Guys who think they're hot because they spend hours a day in the gym, an go lay in a tanning bed for several hours after.
-Thinking about the time I had to walk 3 miles home from the bar in the pouring rain, and the offer that was placed before me on the way home, to make out in the cemetery. Don't worry I said no thank you.



-The music video days, this was before American Idol
- The fact that American Idol is so hugely successful
-The song Chris Farley sings in "Tommy Boy" Fat Guy in a little coat. I feel like that everyday of my life buddy.
-Will Ferrell as a Cheerleader on SNL. No wait I didn't find this amusing, I was just jealous I was never in that skit, other than in my heart.
-The time my other BFF sang to me in Spanish while in Washington DC
-When Kristi and I locked the freshmen in their room and Becky was pissed, ha ha.
-The time I told a Vietnam vet my nom joke, not knowing he was a Vietnam vet.
-"Sex and the City" not the movie, just the t.v show.
-The time I told the parents of my class I was not a Nazi, I was teaching at the Jewish Community Center.
-The line in the Hills, where Spencer tells Heidi, he's actually glad she got her job back so she could be done moping around their house all day, he's really sensitive.
-The time I told my youngest brother he was adopted and he believed me, and started to cry, because he wanted his real mom and dad.
-Telling someone to wrap it up when they're in the middle of a never ending story, and they look at you baffled.

Speaking of never ending stories I'll wrap this up...