So on a recent cleaning stint of my old bedroom I found a letter from my old days working at The Hilton. After reading this letter you will realize that we not only had some free time on our hands, but we chose to use it wisely. The letter read:
Dearest Lamey,
I am distressed that you were not on time for your scheduled shift this morning. I don't know how to emphasize the importance of punctuality to you, but your co-workers were disturbed and weeping due to your lack of consideration for not only your job but your teammates were also let down today. I'm not sure why you've chosen to hurt everyone in this way, but the insanity stops here. Even frequent guests were questioning your whereabouts and I was forced to lie and say that an unfortunate surgery mishap took place and you wanted a professional to look at your new and extra appendages. This fooled them temporarily, but the fact that I'm going to Hell for having to lie on your behalf is more than I can take. I hope you're happy with the decisions you're making today, and the effects it had on the entire staff as well as hotel guests. To make up for the 10 minutes of agony we all had to go through we ask that you complete the following survey that has nothing to do with being late or work related instances. We do however ask that you do complete this in a timely manner to prove you're a changed woman who is sorry for her behaviors.
1. Do you pee in the pool or get out?
2. If you DO pee in the pool do you blame someone else?
3. Which of these do you think make better combinations pickle monkey, squirrel toast, or band-aid juice?
4. Have you now or ever thought of Manica as more than just a friend?
5. Are you uneasy when it snows or rains?
6. When driving do you look in the rear view mirror and pick your nose hoping no one is looking? Never mind don't answer that I saw you once and have never felt the same about yo since.
I hope this taught you a valuable lesson regarding your tardiness. Please remember we are all counting on you Amy, please don't let us down again.
Thank You,
Clock Watcher Staff # 4
My one question upon reading this was how more employers have not implemented this into their tardy policies. If an employee is 10 minutes late they have to fill out a meaningless yet insightful survey. 15-20 minutes late they must choreograph a short yet meaningful dance which incorporates maracas. 20-30 they must throw together a fund raiser in 30 minutes or less, if they don't raise more than $500 for a local food bank during this fund raiser, they're fired. That's all I'm sayin'.
