Goats don't actually eat JUST anything, & other stuff I know

(Not all inclusive)
Sometimes I need nights like these:



And days like these....


There are days I need to listen to songs that say things like, ".....Don't tell me that you didn't try and check out my bum, cause' I know that you did, your friend told me that you liked it.... yeah you make me merry make me very very happy....." This little British voice just cheers me up, and what creative lyrics.


Sometimes I feel like doing this.....


or this, because things are funny, or sometimes because nothing is funny, but crazy, and I do this in order to prevent a major melt down:


Every once in a while I feel like making up stories like, "And to think I saw it on Mulberry Street" By Dr. Seuss. Life would be much more exciting. I could see helicopters fall from the sky, the sole survivor resembles Matthew Fox..... I could run into an old friend who by chance happens to own a house boat/small scale yacht, and invites me to join her for a three week vacay to Lake Powell. While there I would just happen to run into the one ex I never wanted to run into again EVER!! I'd be with my beautiful child, who just per chance decided to behave and be charming (the child, not the ex). And alarmingly enough I just had my hair done, and lost ten pounds. "How crazy to run into you here," I'd say, my shiny hair gleaming in the sun. "I see you're alone, where's what's her name? I see you did get a little chubbers though, that's too bad," I'd said as I gave him a little poke in the belly. He'd stare sheepishly, and I'd just smile, my newly whitened teeth gleaming. At that point I'd return back to the small yacht, leaving him standing in his ridiculous state. Me in my bikini with my new ten pound weight loss.... Also I just got the news I'm gonna be on on "America's Next Top Model" luckily they're sending in a personal chef, trainer, and baby sitter for when I'm doing my Top Model stuff. Posing for photo shoots in exotic locations, on private beaches. Traveling to Australia, me and Tyra head out for dinner and drinks. I'd live separately from the other girls, I'm much older, and don't really need the drama anyhow.


I need people, and friends. Maybe not the same kind I used to have, the kind that'd stay up with me talking about boys, and working out, and clothes. I still need to talk about those things, but now we go out to dinner, or talk over the babies. Or wonder aloud if we'll ever have the motivation to work out ever again.

Sometimes the rain comes, and makes everything wet and muddy and cold, and I have to accept that I'll be be stuck inside....


And other times I realize the rain falls for a reason, and there are ways to enjoy it, and maybe it wasn't so bad after all being stuck inside, because maybe I got to do this with the kid....


I love houses that have a path straight from the sidewalk right up to the front door, how welcoming. The driveway to the front door path is okay, but if I'm walking to this person's house its so nice to walk right from the sidewalk straight up to the front door. I feel like they'll invite me in whether they know me or not. Maybe offer me some bottled water, that's been chilling in the freezer for thirty minutes or so, it's the perfect drink after my walk on a hot day. We'd sit on the porch talking about books, movies, politics, and the beautiful weather we're having.... This is what paths straight from the sidewalk right up to the front door do to me.

I can now spot and name about fifteen different types of construction trucks, thank you little man. Rollers, excavators, forklifts, backhoes, scrapers yah dah yah dah... These are everywhere in the summer, thank goodness finally something to entertain my child in the car.

I've learned to appreciate these.....

I now know, I want to ride the beach cruiser myself not be on the handlebars. It hurts my ass to be on the handlebars, and also it's a total safety violation.