So lately, things have been shitty. Okay beyond shitty. What's beyond shitty, you may ask. I'll tell you. It's landfill naked shitty. Not only do I have shitty to deal with, but I'm in a landfill with all its discusting garbage and I myself smell like poop, (or to go along the theme, shit). (But for some reason I think the word "shit" is uglier than "shitty", is that weird)?
Anyway, things are bad. So beyond the constant, uncontrollable weeping that can happen over just about anything, and by that, I mean over everything. There's this accompanying stressed out feeling like my life is doomed and always has been, and probably always will be. Why am I doomed? Weep, weep. Along with the stress 3 monsterous zits have taken over the entire right side of my face, which causes more stress, and more of the damnned weeping.
I no longer sleep, and when I do there's these strange dreams about my own doom-ed-ness. There's no real escape unless I stay really busy and give myself ONE MILLION things to do. Even then it can happen, the weeping. I've found that reading helps as long as the book is captivating enough. So really any amazing book suggestions would be a ton of help.
So as I sit in my own self loathing/sorrow/hatred/misery/beyond shitty-ness one has to wonder what makes it worth it?
Oh Amy, dear Amy... you are not doomed. I promise. Like, 100% promise of your un-doomedness. I can't imagine all the "crap'(my edited version of your muck) you are dealing with right now, but know that it will get better... eventually. How can you be doomed when you have a beautiful son? How can you be doomed when you have a family that loves you? Friends that care and are SO there for you. No, not doomed. In a load of crap for the moment, yes, but not doomed. Let's do lunch-and talk and try to forget about some of the crap.
ReplyDeleteTate he makes it worth it and he always will. You know that as mucha s any one does that he is the center of your universe. We love you and only want the best for you.
ReplyDeleteI've had days like that... don't get discouraged. Have you tried reading Chicken Soup for the Soul? I think that's the name. Maybe it was just a broth, I can't remember, but if you find a stew, you've gone too far.
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